One of the benefits of having a business haunted by drooling-on-the-carpet trolls, slanderers, liars, reply guys, and other assorted bums is you can learn a lot about yourself, your beliefs, values, philosophies… and even what you didn’t even know you teach/advocate.
For example, according to my trolls apparently I teach people they:
1. Must always have to be funny & lighthearted in emails, even when writing about serious topics
2. Should never, ever put images in emails and that images “don’t work”
3. Always need to make their emails plain text
4. Have to use my “style” or sound like “me” and do things exactly like I do them
5. Must avoid ever using mega headlines (20+, 30+, even 40+ words)
6. Have to make all their products physical (no eBooks, membership sites, etc) and are way better off with paper & ink books and newsletters
7. Should avoid ever taking on clients for any reason whatsoever
8. Have to tell a story in every. single. email.
9. Absolutely have to be a “shock jock” of some kind and pick fights with everyone
Who knew?
I certainly don’t remember writing any of the above.
But there’s been no shortage of low IQ trolls claiming as such.
And that’s just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
I am also reliably informed that:
I hate women (don’t tell Stefania!)… have a “scarcity” mindset due to my policy of not letting people come back to Email Players… am a Republican who is a slave to Fox News… am a psychopath (just not a very “charming” one, according to one troll)… I’m desperate for sales… I lack “proof” and “results” in my emails/sales copy and they’re all hype (they never actually show any examples of this, of course)… I use a lot of profanity in my emails… and, most recently, that I am racist (* gets out KKK grand wizard robe…)
And so the troll drum grunts on and on and on.
I lose track of it all at this point.
Mostly I only hear about it at all due to my loyal SettleHeads letting me know via screenshots, forwarded emails, etc as I am on very few lists these days, nor do I haunt Facebook outside of the BerserkerMail Mead Hall group and a couple local groups… (I have it set up so nobody can friend or message me).
All of which has been admittedly good for my business’ box office gross.
These trolls have helped my business thrive in ways I never could have on my own.
And so I believe it can almost certainly be with your business.
If you don’t have people talking shyt about you, gossiping like little girls about you, lying about you, spreading rumors about you, and clout-chasing by whining about you with all their loser friends joining in inside an echo chamber… then I suggest trying harder.
Because you’re are very likely leaving a lot of sales on the table.
These trolls are absolutely a gift.
They can potentially send you all kinds of free traffic, customers, and clients.
With daily emails it’s easy to profit for trolls.
Just learn how to write emails in a way people like to read, build a fanbase, when some low IQ troll attacks use it as content for an email to make sales.
You might even thank them afterwards.
They are, after all, sending you money.
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Ben Settle